Wee Hour Art By Paula: Accountability

Today is the day that I make a change for myself. Putting it out in the world will help hold me accountable.

Here are a list of reasons why this change has to happen. Some of them are funny, and its OK to laugh, but they are ALL 100% REAL things that I live with on a daily basis. Not only will it help me stay motivated, but help the "Ideal Sizers" understand what its really like for the average fat girl. And hey, maybe it can help someone else get motivated too.

#1: I'm tired of being unhealthy.

#2: I'm tired of my feet aching from carrying my weight from point A (usually the refrigerator) to point B (the couch or computer).

#3: I'm tired of having to drive all over town to find clothing stores who carry my size just to look in the mirror and be disgusted with how ALL clothes look on me.

#4: I'm tired of being afraid to sit in lawn chairs, porch swings and other "light and airy" seating.

#5: I'm tired of feeling like I stick out in a crowd.

#6: I'm tired of feeling like I shouldn't be somewhere because of my size.

#7: I'm tired of being told I am pretty, but should lose some weight.

#8: I'm tired of sending every romantic relationship on a death trip due to my own insecurities.

#9: I'm tired of telling myself, "If I were thin, I could do that".

#10: I'm tired of not being able to catch my breath and only making it worse when I try to slow my breathing because someone can hear just how unhealthy I am.

#11: I'm tired of not being able to get comfortable because my "rolls" are in the way.

#12: I'm tired of inadvertently knocking things off of the table with my butt.

#13: I'm tired of having to adjust my clothes before I sit so that they don't get caught in any weird places.

#14: I'm tired of living with the impending doom of developing Diabetes.

#15: I'm tired of the word "OBESE".

#16: I'm tired of not feeling proud of myself, despite what task I accomplish.

#17: I'm tired of my double chin getting sunburned.

#18: I'm tired of holding a jealous, ravenous, secret hatred toward anyone who is a size 12 or lower.

#19: I'm tired of feeling that I'm not good enough to enjoy life, love, family and friendship.

#20: I'm tired of making excuses.

And those are just a few reasons...

So today, I will start to turn things around. I'm going grocery shopping in a bit and have already made out my list.

(Skinny Cow Ice Cream for my unyielding sweet tooth...)

My dad and I are going to start walking together, instead of just eating together. Ive already purchased some Nike shoes for this task, now its just a matter of syncing our schedules and getting started.